On My Own
by Kaelina
Summary: Songfic One shot. Yaoi Hiei to Kurama can't tell you anything else :)
1. On My Own

On My Own  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Weiss or it's characters. The song On My Own is not mine either. It is from Les Miserables. I suggest you listen to it. It's very sad.  
  
And now I'm all alone again, nowhere to turn no one to go to. Without a home, without a friend, without a face to say hello to. And now the night is near, and I can make believe he is here.  
  
"Why did you do it Hiei? Why?" Yusuke slammed his fist down on the hospital night stand, tears streaming down his cheeks. He couldn't look at his bashed and battered friend. The heart monitor bleeped monotonously, the lone indicator that Hiei was still alive. The broody fire demon was still bleeding and the doctors had said something about possible brain damage.  
  
Sometimes I walk alone at night when everybody else is sleeping. I think of him and then I'm happy with the company I'm keeping. The city goes to bed, and I can live inside my head.  
  
"God damn it Hiei! You're a demon for God's sake! How could I hurt you like that?" Yusuke's fingers traced down the lining of Hiei's favorite cloak. The battle was more or less a blur to the teenager. Yusuke placed his head in his hands. He couldn't figure out what was going on in his friend's head. The only indicator was sheet of notebook paper that was laying on the floor, crumpled.  
  
On my own, pretending he's beside me. All alone I walk with him till morning. Without him I feel his arms around me, and when I lose my way I close my eyes and he has found me.  
  
Something had made him so incredibly mad. He had never seen Hiei so angry before. The demon attacked him with no remorse, but what made it worse, was that Hiei did not even seem to recognize him. He had just... attacked. "I tried everything I could think of not to attack you. I blocked, defended myself, but you wouldn't stop. Why didn't you stop?" Yusuke thought of the lyrics on the paper written in Hiei's curvy, delicate handwriting. Kuwabara had joked that for someone so masculine Hiei's writing looked like it was a girl's. Kuwabara ended up with a black eye after that comment.  
  
In the rain the pavement shines like silver. All the lights are misty in the river. In the darkness the trees are full of starlight, and all I see is him and me forever and forever.  
  
The monitor continued to beep. The sound was driving Yusuke crazy. He wrapped the cloak around his fists. Tears stained his cheeks. He was furious with himself. "Why weren't you guys here to talk some sense into him? Kuwabara. Kurama. Especially you Kurama."  
  
And I know it's only in my mind, that I'm talking to myself and not to him. And although, I know that he is blind still I say, there's a way for us.  
  
"Could you have been that mad that he left you? He was coming back you idiot!" Yusuke looked at his own bandaged hands. "Damn it Hiei. Or did you drive him away? Was that it? Did you make Kurama leave? Could you have really felt like that song?"  
  
I love him, but when the night is over he is gone, the river's just a river. Without him the world around me changes, the trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers.  
  
"He loved you Kurama! And I know you loved him. I know it. Why didn't you two ever admit it? For once why couldn't you just swallow your goddamned pride?" Yusuke glanced back over at the heart monitor. "And now it might be to late."  
  
I love him, but everyday I'm learning all my life I've only been pretending. Without me his world will go on turning, a world that's full of happiness that I have never known.  
  
"Did you not feel worthy? Why didn't you talk to me? I would have helped you! You never let anyone help you, you stubborn bastard!" Yusuke threw the cloak at the open door. It landed and slid over to a young boy, with a pair of piercing green eyes, standing in the doorway.  
  
I love him, I love him. I love him, but only on my own. 


	2. Empty Chairs at Empty Tables

Empty Chairs at Empty tables; Les Mis

"Yusuke? What... what happened?"

The teenager leapt from his seat, knocking the chair to the ground. "Kur..Kurama." He mumbled, trying to mask his shock and dismay. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough."

"Kurama? I don't know what happened!"

"Calm down Yusuke." The red haired boy sat down next to Yusuke and put his arm around him. He smiled that charming, loving smile and sighed. The other boy looked up, and he noticed Hiei's cloak was clutched in Kurama's trembling hand. The heart monitor continued to beep.

__

There's a grief that can't be spoken

There's a pain goes on and on

Empty chairs at empty tables

Now my friends are dead and gone.

'I can't lose someone else. I can't...' Kurama left Yusuke's side and stood above Hiei protectively, as if to fend off death him...excuse me, herself. "Yusuke?"

"I'm so sorry Kurama. He was so mad that you left. He just blew up, and then he...he attacked Keiko..."

"Is she ok?" Kurama asked half heartedly, his green eyes never leaving Hiei's calm features.

"She's gonna have a scar on her arm the rest of her life. She's lucky she has her arm at all."

"You are right about that."

"Kurama? Where did you go?"

__

Here they talked of revolution

Here it was they lit the flame

Here they sang about 'tomorrow'

And tomorrow never came.

"I had something to do, Yusuke. That should be enough." Memories flooded the youko's mind. It had been 824 years today. How could it have been so long ago? But the day haunted his memories, and who had saved his mind from the brink? The broken child laying on a hospital bed, the only indicators that he was alive a bleeping machine and the soft rise and fall of his chest.

Kurama jumped when Yusuke gently laid a hand on his shoulder. They both gazed down on Hiei and Kurama could feel the burning tears stinging his eyes. He had not cried since that day, and he had only even come close to crying on one other occasion. 

__

From the table in the corner

They could see a world reborn

And they rose with voices rising

I can hear them now

The very words that they had sung

Became their last communion

On the lonely barricade at dawn.

"When I was young I led a small street gang in Makai. They all looked to me. Needed me. It was the only family I had ever known, and Koronue and I protected them fiercely." Kurama brushed a wayward strand of Hiei's hair off his forehead, careful not to remove the headband covering his Jagan.

"They were bitter and wanted to revolt against everyone it seemed. 'How things will be different Kurama!' They said. 'No more starving, no more nights in the bitter cold on the streets, oh Kurama what a life we will have!' They were cut down, destroyed, their bodies left to rot on the streets while Koronue and I were away. When I couldn't protect them." Yusuke starred at Kurama in awe at how calm the other boy sounded. 

__

Oh, my friends, my friends, forgive me

That I live and you are gone.

There's a grief that can't be spoken

There's a pain goes on and on.

"Ilyana, she was a fox demon like myself, was still alive when we returned. Koronue plucked from the rubble. She had lost so much blood..." Rivulets of blood trickled from Kurama's palms, but his voice remained completely steady. "She curled up in his arms and gave him her necklace, and she thanked me. Yusuke she *thanked* me!"

__

Phantom faces at the window

Phantom shadows on the floor

Empty chairs at empty tables

Where my friends will meet no more.

Her smile still haunted his nightmares. To fail one so young. "And then it was just Koronue and I, until he was killed. I left him to die as well. Left them all to die. The human world was the only way I could get away from it all. and even then I couldn't leave it all behind. That's where I was Yusuke. Visiting that empty warehouse on that empty street!" But how could he explain to the other boy, even younger than Ilyana, how Hiei had saved him. Brought him back. There was no way to explain it. Hiei's presence pushed those phantoms back, all he had to do was look into the other demon's eyes and they were gone. Not even Hiei knew that he could do that. And now, he may lose him too! It was more than the Youko could bare!

__

Oh, my friends, my friends, don't ask me

What your sacrifice was for.

Empty chairs at empty tables

Where my friends will sing no more.

'Please don't die on me Hiei! Not because of me!' A single tear fell from Kurama's eyes onto Hiei's hand, and the weak fingers twitched.

A/N: Now I could have been horribly awfully mean, but I was nice, I could have had him die!!! I even have that way written out, it was very sad. 


End file.
